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We all know the tradition when it comes to proposing and an engagement ring. He buys a lovely engagement ring and presents it unexpectedly to his beloved one when he proposes. The surprised almost-bride-to-be happily agrees, he slides the ring on her finger and her eyes are filled with love. A moment just like in the movies and the one every girl’s dreamed of – or is it?
“She don’t need a man to make it happen”
In the past decades, more and more women started having a job and earn their own money. Nowadays, many women are not dependent (anymore) on a man to provide for them. This changed the classical household: chores such as cleaning and cooking are evenly split between partners as is the caretaking of the children. After all, both parties bring home the bacon so it only makes sense to split the rest as well.
This new male-female role distribution changed the entire world. We also see some effects of this in the diamond jewelry business. One of these effects is especially interesting since a new trend recently arose. More and more couples decide to go halves on the engagement ring. Considering the independent woman and all, it is not that strange, it’s the 21st century. However, there are still plenty who stick to the original rules. Buying a ring and proposing is a man’s job and that’s why he should pay for the engagement ring. You don’t mess with tradition; why should you both pay for the engagement ring? Here are some pros and cons of going Dutch on the engagement ring.
Why people do share the costs of the engagement ring
Let’s face it: the concept of a woman not being in charge of any money is really outdated. The modern day woman is way more assertive than her (great) grandmother. If she wants something, she’ll just pay for it herself. That’s also why you increasingly see that a woman proposes to the man instead of the other way around. It’s not unromantic, the times have just changed. Besides, nowadays couples often live together for multiple years before they’re tying the knot. You’re both working, you have a joint bank account and together you guys are a team. You work together for what you want. When you put it like that, it does seem a little unfair to let him pay for the ring on his own. Besides, in the long run, the money is all coming from the same pot. The engagement ring symbols a promise for the future and a promise of a lifetime of love. Paying for it together does not affect its meaning and doesn’t make the ring less special. Right?
Why people don’t share the costs of the engagement ring
“I’m happy to split every bill, but don’t mess with my engagement ring.” Apparently, not everyone thinks this ‘going Dutch on ring thing’ trend is catching on. I really can’t blame them. Proposing is an act of love after all and the element of surprise is a big part of it. You want to be taken by surprise when he pops the question and shows the ring as his symbol of love. Even if it is a small ring without a big rock on it; it’s the thought that counts. Him going down on one knee and proposing with a ring sounds way more romantic than proposing and saying: “let’s go ring shopping” afterward.
To split or not to split, that’s the question
Okay, it’s definitely not THE question, but it might be something worth thinking about. Undeniably buying the engagement ring together makes more sense nowadays than it did decades ago. Besides the fact that women make money as well, there are also some practical reasons to go ring shopping together. You may be able to spend more with two incomes. You can have a bigger or brighter diamond on your ring for example. Moreover, the both of you will know for sure that you like the ring and that it fits. Having to go back to resize the ring – or to find one that you do love – sounds awkward as well.
Then again, maybe the engagement ring tradition is one do just don’t want to break, trend or no trend. An unexpected proposal is a moment many women dream of. Not being able to present a ring at that moment does make him sound a bit cheap or improvident.